"I Wanna Quit the __________"

Many know this famous line from Friends... I wanna quit the gym!

Well I did quit the gym... and before I get the question "isn't that the opposite of what a personal trainer does?" let me explain.

Being a new mom challenged my old routine of wake up at 4AM get to the gym by 5AM work out for an hour and go about my day - work, wife stuff, etc. Once sweet KJ came into this world - I kept my gym membership, which I had frozen during pregnancy because I had 0 energy to get to the gym, but found I rarely had time to get out of the house and go. Schedules had to change - and I could keep the gym membership and work around my schedule and find some spare time - but then I was missing my sweet girl's bed time - and to me - that is when I pour into her the most... playing while winding down, reading, and being there to say goodnight before she falls asleep... that became priority!

I spent about 2 months going back and forth on the idea of quitting the gym... then I looked at my numbers - how many times did I get to the gym? How long were those workouts at the gym? Those two things told me that the money I was spending for my membership was not worth it. I would go to the gym maybe twice a month and spend collectively maybe 2 hours at the gym - it was time to go. 

Do I love the gym - yes! But I look at it this way - did I love the actual gym or the idea of going to the gym and did I need the gym to reach my personal goals. NO. I love the idea of the gym because of all of the different modalities to use to work and reach my goals - but honestly - I don't need them to reach the goals that I have. I have built a little bit of a hodge podge of workout modalities at home - some free weights, a stability ball, resistance bands... etc. I told myself if I made the commitment to start working out and getting healthy consistently again then I would one day return to the gym. BUT I'M NOT STRESSING! I should also mention there is a small workout cable machine at the office and an air bike that I use - but even if these were not available to me - I would not let that deter me from my goals!

I want to be a personal trainer who can work with anyone's situation. No gym? no biggie - no free weights... we can use body weight... getting healthy should be just as versatile as the individual! If someone wants to use the gym that is great too - anyone can start from anywhere and do anything... 

This month I take my exam. Studying has been a major time consumer in my evenings (generally after KJ is in bed - maybe not asleep - but in her crib) - however I have still made it a priority to get sweaty for 30+ min 5 days a week. I am not perfect - but I am working on being a better me. It is a process and it takes one day at a time. 

Next month - new and exciting things are happening!

If you would like to follow and learn about the journey that is coming soon be sure to check me out on instagram and facebook! I will be GIVING AWAY a 4 week personalized workout program to 5 people once I pass my exam! to be entered into the drawing - comment with your email below and I will put you into the drawing and will update you when that is going to take place!

Can I do this? Battling Self Doubt

I try and be a positive person for the most part. When it comes to encouraging others and lifting them up - I consider it a passion. Why should anyone be filled with sadness and feel bad about themselves when that is not what our Creator designed us for? Yet when it comes to myself and my own body and my own happiness - I "shame" myself every I pass a mirror.

Being my own worst critic is an understatement... I nit pick at parts of my body that I assume others stare at, and then I think to myself, "when did you allow yourself to become such a narcissist? People are not looking at you. Why would anyone want to listen to you and what you have to say?"

One of my best friends who also happens to be my personal trainer told me in 2015 that she thought I should consider being a personal trainer online and should think about becoming certified. I told her that I was not sure that it was for me and in my head thought she was just shy of riding on the crazy train for thinking such a thing. I blew the idea off and thought that she was just being kind and nice to me because she and I have been friends for a very long time. She had mentioned it again some time later and I, again, blew off the comment as something she was just saying in the moment but not really anything that she meant. Then again a while later she said something about it again - and this time it got me thinking. Thinking enough to come up with some ideas in my head... would I actually consider joining the crazy train? This was not a multi level marketing ploy she wanted me to sign up for. I know her well enough to know by now she would never encourage something she did not stand behind 100%.

Here is why I am

- I've personally been the victim of just being another dollar sign to someone. Personal training plans that people pay for should be PERSONALIZED, and too many times they are just made for the masses. People who have not been trained themselves, who have not been certified and taken courses to be knowledgeable about how to train other people is wrong. There is a science behind the human body musculature system and without that knowledge you are bound to hurt someone.

- The industry is growing yes - but it is getting away from the food and movement aspect and more into the quick fix of supplements, waist shapers, diet pills, meal replacements, boxed processed meals. Bottom line - a person with normal health (being no medical conditions that hinder the person from digesting normally) should be able to lose weight consistently and effectively by eating healthy and moving... period. The word supplement means just that to supplement your HEALTHY lifestyle. I should not have to BUY things other than food to effectively start losing weight... To be honest you don't HAVE to be a member of a gym to start moving and changing your habits...

- Diets don't work... sure they make you think that they do, but never is a diet sustainable for the rest of your life. It will fail you. If you stuck to strict dietary restraints forever you would become bored, plateau, retain water, and in the end get frustrated and quit - which could result in gaining your weight back, and start you on the cycle all over again. NOT HEALTHY!

My goal with becoming certified with NASM within the next 2 months to be a personal trainer is to make others realize that living a healthy lifestyle is not unattainable, easier than you realize, and can be maintain
ed for life by living life in moderation and moving more.  Notice I said EASIER - no easy... sacrifices and changes do have to be made to an extent... but I will dive into that as I meet with individuals in the future. Another goal is to help new moms, like myself, feel confident and strong by starting with basics and building upon strength and stability to conquer their health goals. Giving birth is hard no matter what - but the body is amazing and being a mom proves that. If I can do this - so can you!

Life is meant to be lived. We are not designed to be sedentary.

Eat. Move. Live.

Our Story

Because at some point I wrote a blog about Paul and I - but then in transit... it got lost in cyber space and lets face it, I don't have the time or patience to look for it... so I will just revisit our story for some of those who may be interested and not know. Don't worry Paul I will save the embarrassing parts (from both of us) for those who really are in the inner circle...

Paul and I met when we were 21. I was working at Bennigans (or Begin-Agains as I called it - because no matter how many times you got fired or quit you could always come back to Begin-Agains) as a hostess/waitress. Paul was a full time student at UH.

I probably should mention that I was wearing an engagement ring at the time from someone else...

And this is where we think differently on how the "us" story began - lets just say I think that both of us had some stalkerish tendencies between the both of us... hehehe

Paul would come in and "read" a book at a table up by the hostess stand and I would occasionally see him looking my direction. One day I asked him what page he was on. he said some number and I asked if the book was any good... We made small talk but I went about my business and so did he. A few days later I asked him again what page he was on and it just so happened to be the same exact number. I told him that he could talk to me or ask for my number if he was not that interested in his book (not sure the exact words - but in my mind it went something like that).

I should note that before this interaction I did call my mom and mention to her that "My future Husband just walked through the door" she asked if it was my current fiance and I said no. About 30 min later she and my dad show up for dinner just to see who I was talking about (I should also mention that they really did not like my fiance and were OK with the fact that I may have found someone else attractive - but that is a different story entirely - and will never be on this blog because it is not worth the mention to be honest). She told me that she was not sure what it was but that she thinks I was right - looking back I am not sure if she just wanted me to break up with my fiance... or if she really did think so - but she has always loved Paul and opened her arms and home to him (mostly feed him, which if you know him - is the one way to his heart... although this baby coming seems to have hit him in the softies of his heart too)

A short while after our first interaction we started hanging out as friends at Bennigans and soon I was no longer engaged (my choice). We started hanging out more and dating you could say. He was not wanting anything exclusive because (I believe) not looking to get hurt. Who was I to rush him? But I also came to the conclusion that if he was willing to date other ladies... I would be willing to date other fellas... but that only lasted one date before I was asked to be his girlfriend... (His exact words... are you really going to make me ask you? ... YES I AM)

A little while later (I am horrible with dates as where Paul remembers these things) he took me on a trip to Corpus and said we were just going for a relaxing weekend. I thought OK! We went to the OMNI and it was really pretty! We were going up the escalator and there was a perfectly set table. I made the comment of "That would be perfect at our wedding one day" to which it was as if the escalator stopped and time stood still. Paul's face showed signs of panic as he said to me "whoa... I am no where near ready to talk about that!" - I cringed inside and said - "I'm sorry - I didn't mean it to come out that way" and spent the rest of the afternoon freaked out and had my mind made up that Paul was actually taking me here to dump me and I was going to have to walk home from Corpus to Houston... The rest of the day did not go as planned either - I was getting ready for dinner and my hair dryer burned up - there was not one in the room. I had left my make up in the car and it had melted. My dress was a little too tight... And my attempts at making him re-think about dumping me that night had been ruined.

We order dinner (me being from Cypress and had never been to a fancy restaurant) and I was told that the lobster I requested was market price. I said OK - cant be too bad we are on the coast right? Plus... if I was going to have to start my walking journey here in the next couple of hours I needed the energy right??? (Little did I know that Lobster tail was $84. when we got the bill) He waited until the restaurant was empty - I mean no waiters were even in sight... I asked if he was ready to go and he asked me to take his camera... I said OK....??? he asked if he could pull my chair out - I said I guess (I know I know - my irrational thoughts were great not only is he going to dump me but he is going to throw me on the floor to add to the humiliation - as if I did not know this guy at all) He pulled my chair to the side and got on one knee... "What are you doing?" I asked - He went on to tell me that I was his best friend and that I made his life complete. He wanted to know if... "YES" (technically I think he never got the question out - total Joey and Rachel moment) and I cried... I proceeded to tell him "so this isn't how you dump me?" to which he laughed and said "NO - Why would you think that???" I explained why and he hugged me and said that was the only lie he has ever been able to pull off with me (which is true because he giggles and smiles when he lies to this day).

Fast forward to today (10 years married with one kid on the way). We have experienced loss, excitement, love, and heartache all together. He has been my rock solid when I couldn't be. We have two little ones in heaven... one little one on the way (17 weeks along), and 3 fur children - their stories will be here later, and live in what we hope is our forever home (until we retire by the beach).
I cant remember any of my adult life without Paul... and to be honest... I wouldn't have it any other way. He is the hands down most caring guy I could ever have imagined, and I am not talking material things, I am talking down to earth, loving caring, taking my needs into consideration type of guy!

Bottom Line - I am blessed and LUCKY to call Paul my husband.

Letter to Our Future Andersons

To our future children - whether they be from my womb or from foster care or adoption...

Please know that you have been prayed for.  The process has and will be long and hard - but so worth while. There will be times when I am sure your father and I will wonder if we will ever get to meet you, and if the dream for you to be a part of our family will ever become a reality. However, we hold on to the faith and love that surrounds us to know that one day you will be with us and that we will be able to call you our own.

Your father and I have tried for a long time to start a family of our own. You have two siblings in heaven that are already watching over you that love you. We can't wait to meet you and to hear your stories. To help you grow-up and learn about the world. We can't wait to share with you the love that we have for each other and to share our home with you! There may be struggles along the way - but we were once young too, we had to take the time to grow up. We do not expect you to be perfect, no one is perfect. We love you and your imperfections - whatever they may be. You have been wanted for may years. You have been prayed for by our friends and family that you would come to be with our family at just the right moment in time, even if you are not with us forever - I pray that you will know you are loved by the time you leave our house.

You have cousins who simply can't wait to play with you. As of right now, there are 3 young ladies, 1 younger girl, and one young boy. Their names are Jordan, Amber, Chase, Miya and James (we call him Cole because his daddy's name is James).  You have 3 Aunts and 3 Uncles. Their names are Shaun and Melanie, Matt and Melissa, and James and Kristin. You have grandparents too! Mommy's parents are Janet and Phil and Daddy's Parents are John (we call him Joey) and Patricia (we call her Patty) and Jack - you can give them names that you like when you are ready. You also have A LOT of extended family and 2nd cousins that are eager to meet you too! What a blessing it will be to have you in our family!

If you come to our home from foster care - please know that even if you are in our home for a short amount of time - during that time you will be treated as one of our own. You will not have to compete for our love or affection because we have always wanted you. You are special to us and if we can give you a sense of a safe and loving home for even a short while, we will be blessed beyond measure. We want you to leave knowing what love is and how real love feels. We will show you that love is not bought, or earned. It is given to you from the moment we meet. Who knows what positive can come from being shown love.

If you come to our house through adoption - please know that there is nothing that we would not do for you. You our one of our own. No matter your age, no matter your size, no matter what baggage might come - you are ours. We will do our best to protect you. We will honor your birthparents by never speaking unkind words of them. We honor them, for they have given us the greatest and most precious gift... YOU! Without them, you would not be a part of our family! We will watch and help you grow and ensure that you know you are loved!

We cannot wait to get the ball rolling and get our foot in the door to one day meet you, however you may come to us or whatever the circumstances. We promise to do all we can to provide a loving home for you and to give you a family to call your own (even if just for a short while)

We love you now, and forever!
Dad and Mom (Paul and Megan)

A New Year!

It is 2016! 

So many people and so many resolutions.  There are so many things that I could focus on that many times my OCD does not know where to start.  Then I become overwhelmed... and then I get anxious and then I snowball. 

So this year let it be known that I want to do things differently. 

I want to make an effort to spend time with family - whether it be game nights or just sharing a meal... both my husband's family and my family are (mostly) at most a little over an hour away from where we live. As it has been in the past we have not seen them near as much as we should... excuses and excuses of why we dont call or visit... I am conflicted about all of this.  I dont want to be one of those families that does not see each other unless it is the exception of a holiday. I am normally a hermit, not wanting to go out to see them, but rather wondering why my family doesn't come to see me. However, I read a book recently (The Noticer by Andy Andrews), that changed my perspective.  Why am I focusing on why I am not getting visits from friends and family - when I should be focusing on why I have not been driving to visit my family and my friends... when I changed my perspective on it - I became very blue... I have envied families who have a close bond... who call and text and spend time with one another and it does not even have to be a special occassion.  Have I really become this self centered individual who wants to talk only if someone wants to reach out first... who am I to act like that. All about perspective...

I want to take better care of myself.  I have taken a couple months off of working out and eating right, and I can feel it.  It is time to get back to it.  Luckily my sweet friend (who is also my wonderful trainer) has not given up on me and is still willing to help me become a better me.  But it is also more than eating better and working out. I need to be proud of who I am.  Dress like I am proud of who I am.  I no longer work where I have to wear skirts - but that does not mean that I have to look like a bum either. I am now 32 and going to be 33 this year - and while I hate to admit it - I am starting to look like it.  I am starting to look my age... Not that I need makeup - but I think that I might have a better confidence if I started to look like I felt better about myself... brush teeth twice a day instead of once... drink more water... take my vitamins.

I want to be more organized.  I am an organized person - but I feel like I am getting more and more stressed out. More and more uneasy.  I need a better handle on things.  Whether I am writing it all down and making to do lists and sticking to them, or having it on my outlook calendar... I have to get it started somewhere.  My friend told me about a calendar/planner that she uses and I am thinking of getting because it is color coded and looks like it would be great for me to use.  She is a teacher.  She has one for work and for home. She is a mom and a wife and a teacher and she has a lot more going on than I do - but I still like her method of doing things...

I am going to continue to explore my creative side.  I painted some canvases for Christmas for over my fireplace and it is a very therapeutic and relaxing thing for me.  Now I was really rushed to get them done as I had only a couple of weeks to my company Christmas Party that we decided to host... but other than that stress - I had a great time doing them.  I am a little crafty - but mostly create off of other people's ideas.  I am hoping for more creative and fun things that I can do to decorate my house and make it more meaningful and personal.

To save more... pay off debt (and those are the normal things that come up every year)

So here is to 2016!  Raise that protein shake and get moving... 2016 is going to be an amazing year!

This picture was taken this way to get my sweet husband's head and mine to be about the same size... let's face it - I have a head the size of a pea... really its true... 

Changing Weather

With changing weather comes the unwanted appearence of allergies. Comes in the form of feeling like you have a head cold, you try your hardest to kick it in the butt, but your attempts are useless.  You feel like you have gone toe to toe with a heavyweight champ right in the schnoze. So I was knocked down for about a week, and just when I thought I was getting better... a horrible cough came and knocked me back down for the remainder of that week.  I was miserable. But I made it through and tomorrow is a new day.

From the time that I started this blog I was on the first day of the first phase of a new work out program that was designed to be 12 weeks.  I have an awesome trainer and she does everything that she can to encourage and lift up her clients. I am so blessed to have started this journey with her.  That being said I am now two weeks shy from completing my first program... I had a goal to get into some shorts that I bought from J Crew on clearance about 2 years ago, which I made two weeks early!

I have been rewarded handsomely for all of the hard work that I have been putting in.  Not only from myself and how I feel, which is the most important part, but from those around me as well.  It is not about rewarding myself with food but with things that make me feel and look good.  My sweet other half of my crazy train (Paul my husband of almost 10 years) bought me a fitbit surge (when I  would have been giddy with a simple one), I have had to buy new work out gear and new work out shoes... my high heels have been traded for chucks and tennies... but I have found my happiness. I have found a peace... my faith has grown stronger and so has my body!

As my time with this plan might be coming to an end, I completely plan on continuing in this healthy journey and will be excited to see what the next phase holds!

I am also going to start blogging about "some of my favorite things" as I learn what works for me...

Until next time...

Gotta Start Somewhere

There comes a time when you wake up and you decide... its time for a change.

It normally is gradual and takes time for you realize that there are changes that need to be made.  For me this is the story of a few years ago when I started to realize that things needed to change...

Too Much Social Media:

Too many times people put so much value in what other people think of them.  There are people who are out there to break others down because they do not have a value of self worth themselves. I looked at my life one day and thought about all the time that I was wasting on social media.  I mean I spent most of my mornings thinking of something witty to say, and then spent the rest of the day checking to see who liked it or if anyone commented or thought it was worth sharing... and honestly I was putting so much effort in getting "likes" that I stopped liking myself.  Why do we do this?  Why do we put so much effort in making an image that others are happy with.  BREAKING NEWS... You can't make other people happy.  Someone might like a comment, picture, post, tweet, or whatever... but them liking that particular thing should have nothing to do with YOUR happiness.  I took a look at my productivity... not just at work but at home and with friends and I just was so disconnected.  I was so disconnected from life because of how connected I was on social media.  

So I disconnected my Facebook.  At that time I did not have a twitter or an instagram... which I have all of those things now, but I took a long break... It was an important time that I learned a lot from.  

What I learned:

During this time of "logging off" I learned who my friends were.  Not from them wondering why I disappeared, or what "drama" had happened to make me delete my account.  But the ones who I had real connections with.  Instead of wishing people happy birthday or anniversary on facebook I did it in person.  I would meet my friends for coffee... actually sit face to face with them.  I would go and visit my family... I have driven to visit my friends who do not live close... How precious are the memories that I have been able to make spending time with those that I care about - I took a look at things and thought to myself, which would I remember more... the time that I have spent with the people I love in my life, or the amount of likes I got for the picture of my dog... And I have some pretty good memories.

Things I Changed:

I quit my job... I am not a creature of change for the most part.  I was unhappy.  I was not being productive, and I had become really really unhappy.  My family suffered because of my unhappiness.  There were a lot of things that were making me unhappy.  Like the fact that I had 2 miscarriages in less than 12 months, I was not living up to the standards that my employer had set out for me, I was at my heaviest weight, I had lost some people who I was so close too... so I had an opportunity to change... and I did.  I asked the guidance of my sweet husband (again not liking the change) and what I should do... he told me to turn in my notice... it was time for me to leave my job I had been at for 9 years - of which the last 4 (at least) I was miserable.  I tried to leave in the best way possible, but it did not work well... It is what it is, and I am happy I made the decision I did.  It was beyond time...

Start of Something New:

I decided to start taking my health in my hands and start to be better about what I was eating.  It is a constant battle.  I don't come from the healthiest background (if you are my family and reading this - please do not take offense) My immediate family have diabetes ... and as of now, I am the only member that is not one.  So I have to make a choice... now I do realize that no matter what - I may have diabetes in the future... but if I can help it, I will do what I can to lessen my chances of getting it... so no more processed sugar... less starch and overall better eating.  More lean and green, Less meat and sweet... 

Journey to a Better Me:

I started a new work out plan at the gym.  This week I have been to the gym twice (so far) and I will be going back tomorrow.  I recently saw a post from a friend who I have been disconnected from, partly because this person lives so far away  - like a really long ways away from me... but this person looks great.  Really took their health into their own hands and it is such a motivation.  Now I am not going to be a person who is doing it to compete or anything like that - but it is more of a personal goal...

LET ME BE CLEAR!  This is not for anyone else but myself... to feel better in my own skin... Not only am I looking to be better health wise as in weight - but also my skin... I had a biopsy done a couple of weeks ago (it was benign) but that alone was a wake up call.  I am trying a medication for my skin to try and clear up some cystic acne (I KNOW I know I am making myself sound like a real princess here).  I love the sun but am making sure to keep myself covered in sun screen when in the sun (I use sunless tanning) I am looking for products that make my skin better... suggestions welcome, and I may review some of the products that I use from time to time.  I am taking vitamins daily (Advocare MNS3) they have helped so much with my focus (not so much with my OCD lol).  I am still trying with make-up... I have never been one to be a girly girl... I would really like my skin to look great without make-up - however I also realize that I am now 32 (Paul had to tell me - because I don't keep up) and I am not getting any younger.  I drink water during the day - cut out all of the sodas. Drink only one cup of coffee (black) in the morning (sometimes one pack of stevia in the raw).  And I am in the gym by 5 AM at least 4 days a week (I am starting this at least).  I have some that keep me accountable and I love that they do... I am concentrating on the good in life and the things that I enjoy that are not food related.  I love to cook... however we recently sold our house (we are building a new one) and we are living with my parents and my resources are limited.  And being that they are both retired, they eat a lot earlier that my husband and I do.  But I have told them that in light of recent events (me being the only one without Diabetes) I am not going to eat the junk...

To Be Continued...